Why Didn’t Any of You Pig Fuckers Remind Me This Was Back Up?

In category:Life
Post by:LioConvoy

So I read that article Devlin... As much as I support personal redress of greivances, these guys are a bunch of queers. "Oh, we wanna be superheroes but we'd get our asses beaten in a straight up fight, so I'm gonna stitch a costume together and hand out fliers" Jesus, this is what it would be like if I decided to become a superhero. "Ya know, superheroes are super cool, but I don't want to stop jamming donuts in my face, so instead of fighting or killing actual criminals, I'll go be essentially a birthday clown at a homeless childrens shelter". These tools are like the goddamn Mystery Men. Comic book characters have the right to wear queer costumes because they either have super powers or can beat the shit out of anyone that starts shit with them, and leave us not forget that superheroes fight supervillains. If you're gonna be a real life quasi legal superhero, you gotta be more like Charlie Bronson in Death Wish. He was like 50 years old in that movie, while he was a tough old dude, he wasn't going to kung fu fight with the young perps. He just capped them, and walked away. These A-holes have seen too many comic book movies... Mr. Xtreme? Are you kidding me? What, did he hop in his time machine back in 1993, when that word was cool in some circles, to save us in the present day? And leave us not forget Mr. Ravenblade, of who was quoted as: "'I literally stepped into a woman's attempted rape/mugging,' Mr. Ravenblade said. While details were lost in the fog of the fight, he remembers this much: 'I did what I could,' he said, adding that he stopped the crime and broke no laws. '" Translation: MR RAVENBLADE GOT HIS ASS KICKED AND THE CRIMINAL RAN AWAY BEFORE MR RAVENBLADE'S BITCHLIKE CRIES GARNERED THE ATTENTION OF POLICE. No offense Calliander but this guy's story is flimsier than your little ditty about the time you punched a racist. I urge you all to read this story and get a hardy chuckle.

What else to I feel like ranting about? Oh yeah! The Writer's Guild Strike! Now, you may be saying "Lio, that ended last summer, surely you are confused!" No, and I'll tell you why, those fuck job writers were on strike during the time in which summer movies are written, er go, the strike last summer destroyed this summer's popcorn movie season. We're just starting June and I've already seen every summer movie I have any remote interest in seeing... TWICE! Now you may also be saying, "Lio, surely you jest... you have such a creepy addiction to toys that you must be excited for Transformers 2 and GI Joe." FUCK THAT, I say! I've railed about how much cock the GI Joe movie will suck here on this very website, and I just keep finding out more things that I hate. Aside from Marlon Wayans playing a Native American, GI Joe the Real American Hero is now a UN Task force (when was the last time the UN did anything as decisive as putting together a strike team like GI Joe.), and the fact that this cinematic abortion is being helmed by the man who brought us the wonder that is Van Helsing; I just found out this little nugget. Storm Shadow, Cobra's Japanese ninja, is being played by a Korean. That in and of itself is not bad, most of the brain dead boobs who are going to see this movie couldn't tell a Japanese guy from a Scotsman (although one character who is a Scotsman that on the cartooon sounded like he was voiced by a 12 ft tall black man, is actually being played by a Scot)... what is bad is that they've changed the roll of Storm Shadow to be Korean. KOREA DOESN'T HAVE ANY NINJAS! IT'S A STRICTLY JAPANESE TRADITION!!!! At least I get to see Adebisi wield a minigun. Then there's Transformers 2... yeah... I want to watch a bunch of blurry ass fight scenes of robots that look like a bunch of Bionicles that were put together by a retarded 3 year old. FML. At least I get Iron Man 2 next year...

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