When did I become such an evil person?

Did ya ever get one of those nights where you just take a step back and look at your life, and wonder how you went from one point to the other? For the past few days I've been reflecting on that. My birthday is coming up on Monday, and every year around this time i start getting introspective, and one question is bothering me... When did I become so mean spirited?

Since I'm away from my family (i.e. you guys) for so much time, you don't see half the shit I do or think or act, and I fear when I come home, you guys won't like what you see. I mean I've done some pretty nasty shit. I cheated on a good friend with his girlfriend. Then... just because she decided she loved him too much to continue the fling, I've been holding it over her head for the past year. I constantly try and gain her trust, but to be honest, I don't even trust myself. Sometimes I get so mad that I might one day just decide to drop the bomb... tell him, and destroy them both. I don't like the fact that I think like that... but every once in a while my mind wanders into a dark place. Is this even right? I mean, granted, she made a stupid mistake that would kill the one she professes to love. Granted, she got me involved and broke my heart. But she is human, and she has never been purposefully cruel to me. In fact, she has never been anything but a wonderful friend to me. Hell, she even saved my life on one occasion. But something in me just wants to drop the bomb and break her...

I wouldn't be so worried if this need to hurt were an isolated incident. But it isn't. We all know of my sick obsession with the Demon Queen. But there's more. Last summer I fixed up one of my friends and a roommate of mine. She really liked him, and he probably fancied her. A few months go by and a problem occurs, I develop a passing infatuation with this girl. She was a sweet heart and my roommate was an abercrombie wearing frat-wannabe fuck, I had to intervene. So, I provoked a spat... then I advised her what to do... that led to the destruction of their relationship. I did this, just because of a passing crush! The worst part was that, sure... I created their relationship, I destroyed their relationship, but I could not make her feel the same way about me that I felt about her. No amount of manipulation could do that. A promising relationship ruined, just because I didn't like it.

All these things are bad, but it all pales in comparison to my worst crime. Last summer I was trying to gain the affections of a girl, I'll call her... Verde. Now, I was hoping to aim for a boyfriend/girlfriend thing, and I honestly thought I could achieve that with verde, I even cooked my sauce to try to impress her. But, SpoDudez0r came along and put the kibosh on those plans. I should have let it slide... bros before hos, ya know? But did I, no. What did I do? I hunted for, and found all the contact infromation I could find on his old girlfriend, who hurt him very badly. When they broke up, it nearly cost Spo and I our friendship, and I was prepared to open up that can of worms, just to get back for a silly slight. Luckily, I didn't use that info. This however is the worst of my malicious attacks though. All of the people mantioned were either acquaintances, or at the most good friends. SpoDudez0r is family. And for that I am truly sorry.

Have any of you noticed a point where I became particularly bitter? Have I always been this vidictive? Am I just noticing this now?