w3rd to your mother
Listen - finding women to be with has nothing to do with it. This is what you need to get with just about any girl that's worth being with (pretty, smart, fun, sweet, so forth), in this order:
- Be self-confident to get the girl.
- Be funny to keep her.
That's it. If you're not self-confident, no one is going to be interested in you. Guys don't mind hanging out with you because you're unassuming, and you can relax with them and they can relax with you and shit, so that's good. But, in order to work well in a sexual type relationship, you just have to be self-confident, have a good idea of what you want, and such.
Then, after the initial advances have been made and what not, you have to be fun to be around a lot, since that's what it's about. So, you should be funny. Being smart is good, but being funny/sweet funny is more important, I think, since being funny/sweet funny is more consistently interesting (in a relationship) than just being smart. A mix of the two is optimal.
Calliander - you're not being an asshole by attempting to show her that you're a better choice than another guy, it's just business, man. You have to move the product, is what I'm saying. But confident people are only assholes like 10% of the time. If you're an asshole anymore than that, then you've screwed things up. Guys should be aggressive, it's what we do - but aggressiveness means taking action, that's all. It has nothing to do with treating women poorly - people who treat women poorly deserve to get fucked up, and no, it doesn't help you with women. Now, maybe there are some girls that might actually be drawn to some misogynistic bastard, but those girls are sad, man, you might want to help them, but you're not going to want to date them until they figure out where they are. Women are great (G R E A T), and you should treat them like anything else in life that's great - respectfully, but not reverently, or fearfully.
Lio - you don't have self-confidence with girls. That's why you've been drawn to such fucked up chicks, and that's why you have a hard time making inroads with them. If losing the weight helps you become more self-confident, then you're going to be fucking set. I've seen you around people, and you'll be fine in a relationship once you develop the personal structure necessary to set up the sort of connections you need to start with the girl.
Being attractive (I still don't really understand what makes a guy attractive) is mostly just social stuff - there's something to be said for it, yeah. But, like, women just don't seem to care about it as much as guys do, so, yay.
This shit about "girls just want guys who treat them bad" is such complete bullshit - it's a societal thing, I think, because there's a big difference. I don't mean to be offensive, baby, or anything, but, like, girls want nice guys, they don't want pussies, in the sexist sense of the word. Guys confuse being nice with being complacent to a negatively feminine extent. Do any of you guys want a really mannish girl? No, if you wanted someone manly, you'd be gay (which is fine, of course, but it changes the aesthetics of all this to something I completely don't understand), or you'd just hang out with your friends all the time (and you'd probably be a closeted homosexual). Girls don't want feminine guys, or they'd be lesbians, yadda yadda. Act like a fucking man, which has nothing to do with being an asshole, and chicks will dig you. Think about your (your) manhood, what that means in a positive way, and just follow it.
Being a man doesn't have anything to do with chugging beer and watching sports (though it's one of the perks). The fact that I do those things hasn't helped me at all.
I can argue about the success of these concepts in my own life if anyone wants me to.
Also, I'd like to say, that everyone who doesn't own a Dreamcast right now sucks, and that I'm blaming you for Sega not making systems anymore. Except, I'm not blaming Caniprokis, since Caniprokis is dumb and doesn't like Sega, so you don't get the satisfaction of not buying a Dreamcast.