Top Ten Things That Could Be Made Better By Adding A Flame Thrower.

Ever since Action Widow started becoming more active in the cosplay community, I have been dwelling on how awesome it would be to have a flame thrower. So much so that I have compiled a list of activities that I think would be rad as fuck with a flame thrower involved. The following are in no particular order.

• Skeet shooting- think about it instead of clay pigeons you could use steaks. Then after wards your lawn would be littered with delicious steaks instead of shattered clay.
• Snow shoveling- No more strained muscles, no slip and falls, no heart attacks. Just fire ol' painful on to your drive way and melt away the snow.
• Ridding the world of anime fans- The synthetic fibers of their costumes practically turn into napalm when flame hits them... this is God's work.
• Monopoly- Flame throwers can spice this boring game up. "I wanna be the boot." "I want the doggy!" "I'm gonna be the FLAMETHROWER!!!"
• Hunting- This is efficiency at it's simplest. Kill the thing WHILE you are cooking it.
• Football- Sure you may be fast enough to avoid a tackle, but can you avoid a flame thrower?
• Cleaning- This is honestly the only way that I can think of to clean my condo. Burn away any bath tub stains, or at least cover them with scorch marks.
• Nascar- Half the viewers are watching to witness a flaming carnage, why not insure that they get that.
• Cutting the lawn- fast and efficient... and it gives your grass that lovely black and gray color.
• Brew coffee- The world's first 10 second pot of coffee. Convenient AND tasty.