The holiday season, a sex critique, and a fuck you.

I too find the holiday season to be less and less fun, and increasingly harrowing. I've got no problem with going and sitting on Santa's lap, drinking some hot mulled cider, or going to a holiday party, what I do have a problem with is what the season has increasingly become for me, stressing out, scrambling to get everything done, and emptying my already empty pockets.

It's not so much that I hate Christmas, but it comes at a really shitty stressful time to begin with as a college student, Finals time. I get up at fucking 7:30 every morning to drag my ass to work, where I'm braindead for the first hour due to sleep deprevation, only to get a piece of shit paycheck at the end of the week. This paycheck comes no where close to being enough money to keep me alive, pay for incidentals and sundries, allow me to pay credit card bills, AND have something left over to save. Which, incidentally, means that I'm just being driven farther and farther into debt every minute, and I can't do shit about it.

So, as if the mall isn't always a shitty, soul-sucking experience, it's all that times ten when it comes to the holiday season (the holiday season, for you kids not in the know, is evidently all of the SHOPPING DAYS in between Thanksgiving and Christmas Day). Oh, God, I'm already fucked starting my shopping as late as December 7th. And I swear everyone in the mall is trying to fuck you out of every penny you have this year, because they're not doing as much business as usual, but that's a whole other digression I don't really feel like going into yet.

So, yeah, and I agree with the sentiments about gift buying.. I'm always left in a state of thinking I bought too much, or bought too little, or didn't buy the right thing, or a thousand other things that add up to me being poorer, more stressed out, and angry at the timing of the holiday, and with my school work.

I really could devote a fucking tome to my general distaste for the mall, as well. As soon as I step in that motherfucker I'm immediatly drained, emotionally, physically, you name it. People in the mall then generally come in one of 4 or 5 varieties, annoying middle-schoolers/early highschoolers, annoying old people, annoying fat people, pissed off parents scrambiling to buy shit for their brat kids, and assholes that are just at the mall to hang out. Note that the last group is actually a subset of all the other groups, but I want to seperate them out as well for emphasis. Roving packs of middleschoolers, with fucking 12 year old girls in skintight pants and belly shirts, done up in makeup and looking like theyve sucked dick for 5 years already get to me. As do fatasses shoveling food-court shitfood into their greasy mouths. Frazzled parents are entertaining to watch, but then I get pissed when I see them smack their kids, whether or not they "deserved it" or not. To be honest, the only people that I really like at the mall are the kids, who don't seem stressed out, and have no reason to be. The old people aren't that bad either, as they walk around with their deer in the headlights looks. THIS IS ME SAYING THAT I LIKE OLD PEOPLE, what a wretched place indeed the mall is if they are amoungst the cream of the crop.

Now we will move on to the second topic of the subject. You read the subject, didn't you?. It's time for my first ever, hopefully the start of many, sex critiques!

I had the liberty to sleep in Levres' room last night, as her roommate got drilled on the other side of the room by a frat boy. I figure that if I have to listen to it, and be woken up by it, that I should at least be able to get something out of it, namely this critique.

The sex seemed pretty average at best, she did a little bit of moaning, but the act seemed a little bit drawn out for this audience member. The bed shook probably for about 15 minutes during the sexual act, but the only climax was on the male side. As a matter of fact, there was a period of about 5 minutes of near silence, sans the bed banging into the wall, before "climax". She didn't have her mouth duct taped at the time or anything, from what I could hear, so I can only assume she became as disinterested as I did at that point. I think they then went to their respective bathrooms after that to clean up, or whatever.

To break it down into numbers, out of a ten point scale, her moaning and panting gets a 5, we've got -2 for his over-eager grunting, but a +3 for her asking to be spanked, the end was dissapointing, though, and she never finished, so lets tack another -2 on, but we'll throw a +1 on there for the length of the act. I guess that evens out to a 5 if I did my math right, and if I didn't, fuck you.

Oh, and just before I sign off on this, a big fuck you to my databases professor for taking 2 and a half months to return our midterms, and an even bigger fuck you to my english teacher, who's class sucks so bad that I dont go to it even when I have nothing else to do.. All fodder for another post, I guess.

Whatever, I have a shitty paper to write, and a much shittier book to read, Lick my balls you holly-jolly bastards.

JW

Oh, on a side note, check out: This Link for some local news to those of you who post.