sometimes even i need an older brother...

im not really sure how many people here are the oldest in there family but those of you who are may understand where im comming from. ok see my entire life pretty much except for my sophmore year in high school i have either been the eldest of my friends or the one with the "strongest" personality. and sometimes i just want sombody to tell me what to do and that something is ok and to let me be the week one once in a while, i had that for a while it was kinda nice back in the day this kid jim he was emphisis on was a great kid i really looked up to him and thought of him as like my brother he was aout a year and a half older than me and two years ahead of me in school and i used to be able to just talk to him and get his opinion and advice about stuff you know like girls and just life i guess. like the first time i really dated a girl i asked him all kinds of silly questions cus i just dident know and he dident make fun of me about it like most friends would you know he just sat with me and talked i mean he broke my balls and beat me up and everything he was the total big brother package it was really great. and now im 20 gettin close to 21 and i dont really have anbody to talk to about stuff anymore, alot of my friends look to me now instead of the other way around and its a great feeling to be looked at like that and to be a "big brother" to people and i mean i am cus my bro is younger than me and sometimes we talk like i used to talk with jim and it feels neat and odd at the same time but still its cool. and i mean i have a great dad really hes awsome but you cant talk to your dad like youd talk to your brother or a friend, i guess sometimes i just want sombody to punch me in the stomach and give me a hug or something, its lonely on the top and sometimes i just want somebody else to be there oh well.