Scavanging with a dildo and lube

Location: My dorm basement
Time: 8pm till 9pm, tonight
Why: Free food

I'm chatting with my RA when she points out that at 8 there is some function where there is free food.. so, wham.. I head down there at eight to get me some. I had no idea what the fuck it was for, but whatever.

I walk into the room.. I'm a bit late, so I squeeze into a spot on the floor. At first I was a tiny bit concerned since the room was primarily female and guy sitting near the door yelled "VAGINA" when I entered.

Anyway.. I sit down, and someone else yells "ZYGOTE".. I'm about to yell analingus when someone else actually fucking beats me to it. Then one of the standing people holds up a card. Saying that the orgasm isn't all there is to sex and other crap. Soo.. this was some sort of sex-workshop. Okay. They then split everyone in groups and gave us questions we had to write down the answers for. Sure, I'll go along for some free wings.

Questions like "Give two good ways of telling your partner what turns you on" and another was "Give two ways of telling your partner you're ready for sex" (my suggestion was to 'whip it out'). Then they showed us how to put on condoms and they gave 'em out.. they also showed how to make a dental dam (For when you are with a really skanky bitch) out of a condom.

But, we were ALL there for hte free food. When things were over and we're trying to kill time by throwing some frisbees around. Twenty minutes later, we are all still waiting.. at least its sort of social and stuff (they had soda) and we're chillin and stuff. So, the wings finally arrive. They walk in with a huuuuge thing of wings, and some pizzas. Everyone follows the dude as he puts them down on the table.

Everyone went wild at that point. I have never seen a group of people attack food like that. I barely managed to get two wings (boneless.. tenderloins..). Hell, I didn't even get a plate. I used my empty coke cup. Some people got nothing. It was horrible. The pizzas went just as fast. It took less than five minutes to get ALL of the wings devoured.

One kid grabbed the dildo they brought to demo the condoms and started beating it against the wall. Another grabbed teh fake plastic vagina (clear) and ran off with it. Everyone was just grunting and pissed.

Anyway.. I don't really have anything more to say. Oh.. one thing. Dental dams. I guess if you're tossin' the salad you might want the dental dam.. or if the bitch is one skanky ho. But making one out of a condom... especially a lubricated one... I don't want to lick a freakin' lubricated condom. No one does.. that's why no one uses a condom for oral sex. And thats why dental dams arent huge sellers.