Root Beer Sucks

I don't know why I even drink root beer. I never like it. It's caramel-colored. Yet, I always think to myself, "Ooh, root beer!" like Homer and grab a can whenever one is available.

Pappy, you obviously didn't read my post, assmaster. I had stopped associating with her. But in any event, all of those events are water under the bridge. Life goes on, or some bullshit clich like that.

So I guess this company is going to train me to be the replacement for the uber-Macintosh guy who quit unexpectedly (I was hired to replace that guy's discipile, who at least had the decency to put his two weeks notice in). But anyway, I got his pager, his Palm m100 and his G3 laptop (running OS X, which is totally sweet). I think I get a Nextel phone soon - one of those ones that functions as a walkie-talkie, too. This guy cleared 65k a year. So let me break this down for you: I get an above average salary (obviously less than his since I know maybe an eighth of what he did, but still good), 10% on all of my cash invoices at the end of the month, 25 cents per mile traveled (which equates to around 8 bucks in my pocket for every 40 miles driven since my car is great on gas), the use of a laptop and a Palm and a cell phone, profit sharing, full benefits, and a 401k plan.

Things are looking up!

Oh yeah, and the All-Star Game... What was up with that bitch who didn't know the words to the fucking National Anthem? The rockets gave glare? Gave truth to the night? WHAT THE HELL!?!? Damn, that was a disgrace. Whatever gripe you may have about how it ended, it's overshadowed by that idiot woman. Why can't these vocalists just sing the Anthem right? Christ, even N'Sync can sing it right!

Knaa'mean?