Retrospecticus

I was at work tonight, and a whole rash of songs, circa 1996, came on the radio. This got me to thinking about that time in my life... High School that is. It got me thinking about the changes we've all gone through. So, I've decided to make my memoirs on this site.

The year was 1994 - 1995. My freshman year of High School. This was an odd time for me. I'd finally gotten a social identity of my own, and this being the waning days of the grunge era, it worked well. Sure that identity was that of the angry, outsider loner, but it was something. I wasn't just that fat kid on the fringe of the popular group that everyone made fun of. I was that long haired angry kid,who dressed like something out of "The Crow". It was also a sad time for me. Bean, who'd been the closest thing to a brother I have ever had, and who'd stayed with me since we were in 3rd grade, moved to Florida. I only had two friends left... two real friends. Calliander, who like Bean, had been with me through all the shit with our friends who would later become the popular group, And Blood, who I'd only started hanging out with in eighth grade, but even then I could sense we shared an uncommon bond. But I had no classes with Calliander, and Blood was in Horizons, an alternative schooling program that completely segregated him from us. All hurtles aside, Calliander, Blood And I hung out as much as possible.

I was slowly rebuilding my social life after the cataclysm of 7th grade. I was placed in a Freshman reading and study skills class with well, I'll call her Bleaker, a friend/rival I'd known for a while. She was strong and opinionated, and we'd always without fail turned every class we attended together into a debate. I'd never necessarily had a crush on Bleaker, but I did find her attractive, and respected her greatly. In later years this minor attraction to Bleaker would turn into a slight resentment. To this day I'm still slightly offended that she never looked in my direction. Anyhow, she'd become apart of the me, calliander, Blood circle of friends. We were Grunge kids in the post grunge era, and though the whole situation seems silly now, it was of great importance to us then. In February of that year, Bleaker was sent away by her parents. I was greatly angered at this, for I found their reason completly bullshit, and is to this day the reason for my hatred of a certain profession. As any good grunger/proto mid 90's goth would do, I painted my nails black. The intention was that they would stay that way till Bleaker came back. Two weeks later, my parents made me take it off because we were spending the weekend in a fancy New York hotel. It was a good thing too, Had I stuck to my promise, I'd still have black nails to this day. Bleaker never came back.

This saddened me, but I moved on.

Also in that Freshmen reading and study skills class were Stone and Pappy... Now, I'd known both of them for a really long time. However I'd never really hung out with them; my group of asshole friends from middle school had branded them as nerds. Despite this branding, I'd always respected them, and I'd found Stone particularly fascinating. Even when we were in 3rd grade I was fascinated by him. I think it was because he was just because we were both raised VERY closely to our parents and as a result we both acted much more maturely and had much better vocabularies than our peers. One day I'd noticed them playing a card game that I'd heard mentioned at my local comic book store, and was interested. I started talking to them and observing them playing the game, and soon I started collecting cards and playing with them. And so a wonderful friendship began in earnest.

What's my point? I don't have one. I just felt like walking down memory lane. Sometimes we lose sight of who we were and it can be enlightening to gain perspective on that. More memories to come, I'd also like to hear some of your high school memories out there.

Till All Are One...

LioConvoy out...