Okay.. I guess it's technically 4/20

Well, I suppose screw the day of silence.

First off.. Calliander.. you're an idiot. For one, Snackman was not the outcome of drug use. All three of us were completely sober.. just stressed out. Now, you don't drink (that i know of) or do any drugs (you only halfass those lines of coke, so they dont count). You also know nothing of the subject, so don't even bother with it. You have made a personal decision regarding the substance abuse, and that is your decision alone. No one here is trying to get you to do any drugs.. in fact I hope you never try any of them.

Now.. Levres.. dear dear Levres. I'm glad you are happy. To skip to the bickering thing... I don't know that you only do it in front of me.. the reason and accountability thing is a saying of Wilson's that is so very true for all females, but that is one good reason why guys like girls.

Onto the living situation. I will not be able to stand living with you and Wilson. Hell, if you are bickering in front of me, god knows what you two will do over time. At some point, I won't notice the constant bickering.. so you will have to do more.. maybe screaming and throwing stuff around. Whatever it is, I don't want it to be in the home I am sharing with you guys. Even if you purposely act up around me, they are still real arguments.. and it has been getting worse over the course of the semester.

It is very difficult for me to say no to this.. I really think its a bad idea. It's a twelve (12) month lease.. and that is quite the committment for a couple to make. I mean... Wilson and I are only 21 (well.. Wilson will be 21 in a couple of days at least) and Levres is 19? 20? I have no idea.. anyway.. it's like hearing of a marriage.. feels similar. That bothers me on several levels.. one since I am without a fine female to love, and two because it just seems weird. But this is really something between you two (Levres and Wilson). I really don't want to be a third wheel in the house either.

As for the drama, I couldn't hear it. That stupid old bitch in Stats found something really interesting by the sound of her weird exclamations coinciding with Levres' (or someones) voice out in the hall.. you two also had a long chat, I presumed Wilson was getting yelled at.. and then when he came into the room with the funny look in his eye, I knew he was leaving. I just wish that we had not gone to Stats in teh first place.. I didn't want to go and I wish I had left early too.. geh. Fucking boring shit. I can't believe its a graduate level course.

I don't know why so much has changed since last fall. I know I am angrier, and have become more impatient and less forgiving. Stress keeps piling on, and it got worse this week. Much worse. I am sick of responsibility, and I am back to wanting to just get into my car and go some place far away. I am saying car because I can't afford to fly at the moment.. not legally anyway. No one understands and I don't really tell anyone anyway. When I do start to tell, I get the feeling the person doesn't understand or simply doesn't care. If you don't know what I am talking about, you are probably one of the people that doesn't understand or doesn't care. Or I don't want you to understand. I dunno. Or I don't know you. Or I don't like you, like the gutter trash you are.