Oh boy...

Heh... time for me to do something I haven't done in a few months.  Time to stir up a shit storm.   Now in years past I've always extolled the virtues of loyalty and friendship.  I've preached brotherhood while not always paying heed to it.  But the idea of loyalty to ones friends has always been one I've admired and hoped to live up to.  But what happens when you don't live up to the standards you hold for others.  Well, that was the situation I found myself in at the beginning of this summer.  I'd betrayed a friend, and was caught.

For a long time I'd beaten myself up over what had happened.  I'd lost half my friends over it, but it was not unwarranted.  I never claimed what I did deserved forgiveness, and I never asked anyone for it.  Was I ever asked for my side of the story?  No, but I'm sure the third and fourth hand intermediaries relayed all the information faithfully.  Do I wish I had handled matters more honorably, yes.  Do I wish I'd hurt less people, yes.  But that's the past.  I can't do anything about that now.  Besides Karma eventually caught up to me.

But then, I reached an epiphany...  The notion of loyalty to one's friends is a ridiculous idea.  Let's face it, we all have some price we can be bought for.  Money, drugs, sex... whatever it is, we can be bought and sold with it.  Humans are hard wired for this shit.  Yeah, it's all good when times are fun, and you're hanging out.  It's easy to say you're going to be brothers forever when things are all in order.  But ultimately it's all bullshit.  Brothers eventually outgrow you, or move away and forget about you, or even worse, come back and fuck the woman that almost every psychological problem you have about the opposite sex revolves around.  It's just the way things are.

Then imagine the hearty chuckle I got when I got wind (I had the honor of hearing this through a second hand intermediary, I felt blessed.) that a mutual friend of both me and the person I betrayed came back and promptly chose to ignore me out of "loyalty".  Now, If we were all as loyal as we claim, this person would have shown true loyalty to the both of us and stayed out of the entire matter as it is none of his business.  Or at least have asked me what the fuck I was thinking and gotten my side of the story.  But people are not loyal, and that would be asking too much.  I would like this person to know that I'm not mad, and I don't expect that he should show me any loyalty.

In summation people as a whole are a nasty lot of vipers.  Everybody has a price, loyalty is and illusion.  I don't expect our common history together as friends to be anything more than that.  History.  I'd like to close this statement out by saying to all those who still count themselves as my friend, thank you.  But just to be crystal clear on this: for the right price I will sell your ass out without a second thought.