No Sex (In the Champagne Room)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the GED class of 1999
I have one piece of advice for you:
No matter what a stripper tells you
There is NO SEX in the champagne room
NONE!
Oh, there's CHAMPAGNE in the champagne room
But you don't want champagne
You want SEX!
And there's NO SEX in the champagne room!

Don't go to parties with metal detectors
Sure, it feels safe inside
But what about all those niggas waitin' outside with guns?
They know you ain't got one!

If a woman tells you she's 20, and looks 16 - she's 12
If she tells you she's 26 and LOOKS 26 - she's damn near 40!

Take off that silly-ass hat!

The ODB couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes
Coolio did some of that shit!

Young, black men
If you go to a movie theater
And someone steps on your foot
LET IT SLIDE
Why spend the next 20 years in jail
Because someone smudged your PUMA?

CORNBREAD
Ain't nothin' wrong with that!

No matter what you think of what I'm saying
Remember this one thing
There is NO SEX in the champagne room
(Ohh...no sex in the champagne room x6)
(There's absolutely, positively no sex in the champagne room no... no...)

If a homeless person has a funny sign
He hasn't been homeless that long
A REAL homeless person is too HUNGRY to be funny

If a girl has a pierced tongue
She'll probably suck your dick
If a guy has a pierced tongue
He'll probably suck your dick

Here's a horoscope for everyone:
Aquarius - YOU'RE GONNA DIE
Capricorn - YOU'RE GONNA DIE
Gemini - YOU'RE GONNA DIE TWICE!
Leo - YOU'RE GONNA DIE
Scorpio - YOU'RE GONNA DIE FUCKIN'!

No one goes to Hooters for wings

If you've been dating a man for 4 months
And you haven't met any of his friends
You are NOT his girlfriend!

Some of the things I said may not apply to you
Some of the things I said may offend you
But no matter who you are
You MUST REMEMBER this one thing:
No matter what a stripper says
There is NO SEX in the champagne room
NONE!

(No sex in the champagne room)
(I said no sex in the champagne room)
(No sex in the champagne room x3)
(Ain't gettin' none, can't have none..noo...)
(In the champagne room...)
(There's absolutely positively no sex in the champagne room)
(Say no...no... say no... there ain't no sex...)
(In the champagne room no... no...)