McCarthy was Right

It's a good thing that we're not still in the middle of McCarthy-ism, Calliander, because he's have your ass strung from your toes from the roof of the goddam Lincoln Monument, you Communist cocksucker. If you don't like MacGyver, then go back to Moscow.

How could you NOT enjoy MacGyver? He knew everything. He built bombs out of bubble gum and cardboard, tracking devices from shoe laces, he could make an engine run on water and piss, he could even Hax0r with the best of them. And, andandand, he NEVER used a gun. How could you do better than that? You couldn't. And you still can't. I defy you to show me a better hour-long program that depicts a red blooded American saving hostages from a South American prison, using only a butter knife and his own wits, that is being produced today. You can't.

In closing, I'd just like to say that you should bend over forward real far, and see if you can fuck yourself. Yeah. Do that.