Hehe...

You said, "stoked," Lio. But anyway, good luck with the chickie. That, however, is not the purpose of this most recent of posts of mine. As a matter of fact, I think it's time to kick off a new semester with a genuine Calliander rant. Yes, that's right, I'm going to bitch at the masses once again as an interruption to all this seriousness and non-ranty bullshit we've been spewing forth. This site is, in fact, called "insult.org," am I correct? Well, here we go. Suck my dick, society!

I'm having trouble figuring some things out. These things I'm having trouble with have to do with drivers. I'm unable to place why I've been noticing these phenomenons only recently. Have I just been seeing the things I'm getting annoyed by recently (as in, they were always there and I was just oblivious) or have they just started happening recently?

What am I talking about? Really, stupidly confused drivers, of course. Is everyone suddenly a tourist? Did a whole bunch of dumb people move into my town and start driving? It's as if the second anyone gets in the car, they have an enormous brainfart which knocks every pathway out of commission! Every time I want to go anywhere nowadays, I'm stuck behind a moron. It doesn't matter what time of day or night it is, it doesn't matter which road I'm on, whether or not there's traffic, or anything else. And the moron doesn't necessarily have to be going below the speed limit (though, a lot of them are). It's just the way that people are driving now, regardless of speed, which makes them dumb.

For example: Route 1, which runs through Branford is, of course, the largest road. There are two lanes on either side for a long time coming into Branford from East Haven. Coming from Guilford to Branford, though, it's one lane for much of the way. At one point, though, there's a large intersection where there are three lanes. People use the left lane to turn into the center of town. The right lane is used either to turn into Starbucks or to go straight. The middle lane goes... straight! The road then widens to four lanes with an indented left lane for u-turns, two straight lanes, and a right-turn-only lane you can get to from the right lane. All of a sudden, I've been noticing that I will be in the right lane (the normal travelling lane) with people next to me in the middle lane. For no reason at all, the people in the middle lane will attempt to nonchalantly merge into the right lane. FOR NO REASON! No blinkers, no looking, nothing... as though they are simply assuming that the middle lane connects to the right lane in travel! I could understand this phenomenon if the road was inclined, therefore skewering vision. I could understand if the road curved even the slightest bit. However, the road neither curves nor is it inclined! Yet every day I'm forced to go over in the right-turn-only lane and beep to avoid being rammed! And these same people will then put their blinkers on a quarter of a mile on up the road and go back into the left-middle lane.

Am I missing something?

People are always pulling out in front of me and my brakes are really bad. Everyone seems to be driving at least ten miles per hour below the speed limit nowadays. On one lane roads with 25 mph limits, I'm always stuck behind the one person driving 15 mph after they've pulled out in front of me as though they couldn't see my blindingly white car. Before Route 1 widens into two lanes, I'm always stuck behind the person going 25-30 mph when the speed limit fluctuates between 40-45! And Branford doesn't believe in those broken yellow lines, either, for some reason.

And what's with braking on straightaways when there's nobody in front of you? I can't count how many times I've been traveling behind someone in a 45 zone where they're driving 30-35 and braking every minute or so. Are they lost? Are they looking for a specific road sign? A restaurant?

People turn on red when they're not supposed to. Everyone blocks the intersection, and will beep at you if you don't pull up five feet to do so yourself. I almost get rear-ended several times a day by people who speed up to get through a red light before the other cars start going. And I don't even want to talk about this inability to park I've been noticing recently. I'll pop if I do so.

Fucking... stop driving. Another thing, since I argued about it today: swears in music. I hate swears being censored out of song lyrics on the radio. I think it's perfectly acceptable for someone to use the word "fuck" in a song. I think it's fine for someone to mention "shit" or "ass". I think that if you are offended by swears, leave this fucking country. We don't want your stuck-up, pansy asses around anyway. Go live on some remote island where you can avoid progress and listen to Bill Cosby all day. (Not that there's anything wrong with Mr. Cosby, mind you.) If I ever get roped into having children, I'll make sure they're exposed to swears, violence and nudity at a young age. And they'll grow up just fine, like I did. Assfuckers.

*big smile*