Fuck cats?

I think the correct question is, 'Why would you want a pet?' Fuck pets. If you're not able to love everything that goes along with having a pet, then you shouldn't have that fucking animal. I mean, to people who don't have pets, would it make sense to have some thing around the house that sheds fur everywhere, requires constant maintenance and love, needs you to purchase food for it to eat, and deposits its waste either in your house or the area around your house? If you want that kind of aggravation, have a fucking kid; at least that endeavour will produce someone with whom you could carry on a conversation.

I like cats and dogs. If I could have a Rotty or a Lab or something cool like that, I would. Right now I can't, so I'll have a cat. Unless you abuse your cat, it's not going to "maul you for touching it." If you get scratched by a cat, it's your own dumb fault because you were probably moving your hand or foot about so that the cat thought it was a mouse or something. If you don't provide your cat with a scratching post, then you deserve to have your furniture torn to shreds. If you don't rub your dog's face in its shit when it doesn't go outside, you deserve to have shit stains on your rug. If you don't let your cat outside (which is a smart idea if you live in an area with coyotes of if you declawed it, you fuck), where the hell else is it going to go to the bathroom? The toilet? Can you train a normal dog to use the toilet? No. That kind of shit only happens in movies with Robert DeNiro.

Dogs are loyal. Cats have dignity. What the fuck to birds have? FUCK BIRDS! Fuck birds and fish. Useless pets. Especially fish. What the hell is their problem?