Dear President Bush,

FUCKING APOLOGIZE ALREADY!

You idiot! This isn't a fucking schoolyard fight, where you'll look like a wienie if you apologize to the kid whose foot you stepped on. This is international politics, grown-up stuff, and we were clearly in the wrong. We're not going to lose any face if you apologize to China for spying on them and getting caught. Only idiots who say things like, "We'll apologize once they apologize for Pearl Harbor," (and believe me, I've heard that several times already from a bunch of middle-aged truck drivers) will care if you apologize. The rest of us just want to worry about the budget and tax cuts and campaign finance reform. Suck it up and apologize, please! Get our people back and stop acting like a child who spilled the juice on the carpet in front of his Mom. Damn it.

Sincerely,

Your Number-One Traitor