Can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding

There you have it kids, the excessively emotional and overly introspective drunk. Thats not how yesterday went down at all, biatches. If there's one thing I can't fucking stand it's going to a cocktail party, or an equivalent social function, where everyone has the same intent, TO GET DRUNK, and then these fuckers show up and nurse a few beers or some shit. I mean, what the fuck is that? We're here to DRINK and get sloppy, not to fucking sit around here and fucking analize everything. Theres no goddamn need for analyzation. The hard fucking truths get told when everyone is loosened up and I'm damn sure, especially based on all the shit that went down after Pappy left that everything that happened yesterday was a GoodThing(tm). Except that motherfucker kicking me in the head. It still hurts like a bastard and theres a gigantic red mark. I can't fucking stand some guy trying to get some ass and moving in on a friends "territory". That's not how fucking friends work. If you've seen the Big Lebowski, you know what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass. Well, this is the same thing, only moreso. Your motives are questionable, sir.

Insecurities be damned. Whenever I attend a cocktail party, everyone gets loosened up and their insecurities all show to the point where theyre hyper sensative to what would normally be the most insignifigant crap. I can't stand this blah blah crap about, "Oh, I don't think she likes me" or "Who am I?" or "That person said something about X, that must make them a Y. I hate Y's". YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP AND YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm sick of this whiny shit. If you can't sit back, kick it with your homies and enjoy a few beverages, and im talking more than nursing one or two you pussy ass bitches, then dont come and ruin my time. I'm all about chillin' and illin'. Don't be fucking up muh flow.

I'm out of here for now, sorry theres no pretty pictures for you to click on, and, Kelly, thanks for the ice, I owe you one. - Wils0r