Can you help a guy out?

Here is a letter I just thought was too good not to post:

Hello there,

Im David in RI, looking for a generous older woman who will give me a house.

Or, we could be friends to meet up for drinks or fun. Perhaps we should chat. Im located in RI 1.5 hours south of Boston. I love to travel. 29yrs 5'11" 200LBS brn/grn russian-\*american would Love to hike with you! or just hang out. Once the leaves change, so can our activities.. You dont have to be my friend in order to give me a car!

Im sorry this note is so short :{ but if you decide to email me about 100 words, or more please, I promise I will then open your letter and write back - because I get tons of email - and must skip over the short email notes that usually say nothing.

I really hope you have a house!

Yours,
David