Ancient Chinese Torture

This is a great joke.

A young man was lost, wandering in a forest when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by this ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard.

"I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?"

"Certainly," the Chinese man said. "On one condition: If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man."

"Okay," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and he entered the house.

Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off of him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during the night he could bear it no longer and snuck into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy.

He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes, he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest."

"Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do, then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out.

As he did so, he noticed another note that read, "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end.

Figuring that a few broken bones were better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward, he saw a large sign on the ground.

It read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."