DrunkCategory

Sore Loser Syndrome

In category:Drunk

So how about Brazil, huh?

I was very poor growing up, in a relatively upper middle class neighborhood in a fairly affluent town. Don't ask me how my parents swung that, but the upshot of being so destitute was the other kids didn't want anything to do with me. And that's both the neighborhood kids and the ones at school. My mother, a sub-5' Italian woman who used to be very quick to anger, basically forced the parents on my block to make their kids play with me.

Despite all the things my childhood lacked, I had an incredibly huge ego and an overdeveloped sense of superiority. I was entitled as fuck, despite not having any of the things that make a person that way. The way this manifested was if we neighborhood kids were playing a game – Monopoly, basketball, video games – I was the best at it.

Was I actually the best? No, of course not. But that possibility never occurred to my unreasonably pretentious mind.

So the natural question that arises is: say the score was 4-2 in favor of the other team, how did I reconcile that?

Simple. I accused the other kids of cheating, threw the basketball into another person's yard, and declared myself the winner.

What a great way for an outcast to make a good impression, right? But my mother kept making the parents have me over.

If I lost at Combat, then the game was rigged and/or the other player was cheating. I turned off the Atari and threw the controller on the ground.

In my young mind, it was inconceivable that I could lose. Impossible. But the facts were that I did, indeed, lose. Throwing a tantrum didn't change that, it just meant my mother had to be a jerk to the neighbors.

Anyway, my "adventures" as an eight year-old asshole should sound incredibly familiar. Uncomfortably familiar. Because that's literally – not figuratively – how conservatives are acting. And not just U.S. conservatives. This post was sparked by the results of Brazil's election.

It was pretty clear early on that Jair Bolsonaro was going to cause trouble. According to some news reports (which I have no way to verify) there was a massive effort to suppress Brazil's liberal voters in the areas where Lula was favored. And, now that Lula has been declared the winner, the world will hold their breath waiting to see:

Will Bolsonaro contest the results? Will he claim massive voter fraud without a shred of actual evidence ala Donald Trump? Will he refuse to concede? Will there be a peaceful transfer of power to the incoming administration?

This underscores our elections next week. I think the most high profile example is Arizona, where Kari Lake has outright stated she won't accept the results unless she wins. It's puerile behavior, as I've illustrated above, and yet she'll get away with it (even if she loses and becomes just another voice in the "rigged election" crowd).

And the analog to my mother in this situation – at least, in the U.S. – is the Republican party. They have the power to take these candidates off the ballot or, in cases where they don't, they can refuse to endorse and run someone else.

But they don't.

They don't even really address the temper trantrums of people like Trump and Lake, and instead make us keep having to play street hockey with these fucking babies.

I don't have a good parallel for how to solve this, by the way. My life sucked until my parents finally got above water during my junior year of high school. I was a little piece of crap until then, and it's an honest miracle that was I was able to recognize my behavior, let alone act to prevent it.

I really don't know how we fix people older than me acting like I did when I was ten.

Post by:Calliander

Keep Me Pissy

In category:Drunk

Good idea, though. How about:

Lolita: Four Loko (malt based) and Alize (cognac)?

I'll add one more:

Fear and Desire: Tokaj and Manx Spirit.

St00n

Post by:Stone

Nope

In category:Drunk

The Kubrick drinks have to have a Grape based liquor and a whiskey based liquor.

Post by:LioConvoy

Lolita

In category:Drunk

Grape soda, brandy and peach schnapps?

Post by:Calliander

MACHETE

In category:Drunk

MACHETE

Post by:Stone

Ah what?

In category:Drunk

I like La Chouffe. I am bored of Berlin Alexanderplatz. I like the Diplo Gucci Mane mixtape. I don't like the Diplo songs on the Diplo Gucci Mane mixtape. I like Proust. I am bored of Henderson the Rain King. I like wool-silk tweed. I like drum machines. I like bitterballen. I dislike close set eyes. I don't like oboes.

St00n

Post by:Stone

Kulminator

In category:Drunk

Yo - imagine the best Belgian beer bar in the world.

A bar that sells multiple vintages of every single Belgian beer ever - literally, a fucking vertical of every goddamn Chimay since 1982, plus multiple vintages of other Belgian beers - at very reasonable prices.

Then, take whatever you imagine that bar to be, and cross-breed it, somehow, with what Aaron's basement means to me, but with Aaron (and Jocelyn) being into just belgian beers, instead of everything that they are actually into. Aaron and Jocelyn are the bartenders at that bar.

A perfect 50/50 cross of best belgian beer bar in the world and Aaron's basement.

The name of that bar is Kulminator. It is real, and it is in Antwerp.

I just drank:

  • some random belgian beer from 1993 that is no longer being brewed (served in the glass that it was served in back in 1993)
  • John Courage Russian Imperial Stout from 1983
  • Dulle Teve from 1994
  • Stille Nacht from 2003

It is the best place on earth. I wish you were here.

St00n

Post by:Stone

An Important Question…

In category:Drunk

So you know how there are lesbians who have that, 'born in the wrong body,' thing going on? Some of them wear strap ons all day. I've been trying wrap my head around something: If one of those lesbians bangs a gay dude (as in, strap on goes into gay guy) what the hell do you call that?

Post by:Calliander

DRUNKENSTIEN

In category:Drunk

So its been a while since i passed out on a lawn from excessive drinking, luckily i knocked that one out of the way on Saturday. Awesome party, great time!!!

Post by:Caniprokis

Drunkard: THE BOOZENING!!!

In category:Drunk

Started stocking up for the birthday bash on August 1st... I've decided to buy the booze for my $240 jungle juice in piece meal. Got the vodka and 151 rum this week... check out the rest of the recipe... It goes down like kool-aid, but has the impact of three beers per cup!

  • 1 L Everclear® alcohol
  • 5.25 L (3 1.75L bottles) vodka
  • 1 bottle peach schnapps
  • 1 pint Bacardi® 151 rum
  • 1 bottle 99 Apples® apple schnapps
  • 10 L Sprite® soda
  • 1 L Sunny Delight® orange juice
  • 1 L triple sec
  • 1.75 L bottle gin
  • 1 bottle DeKuyper® Sour Apple Pucker schnapps
  • 4 bottles Boone's Farm® Strawberry Hill wine
  • 8 L Hawaiian Punch®
  • 2 containers orange juice concentrate
  • fruit (as much as desired)
Post by:LioConvoy

R. Kelly is a Fucking Demigod

In category:Drunk

Coffee imperial stouts are terrific- really, just an amazing all-purpose drink, good, no matter where you are or what you are doing. Founder's Breakfast Stout, Dieu de Ciel's Peche Mortal (I am in the Dieu de Ciel brewpub right now). I wholeheartedly endorse them.

Also, a highlight of this Montreal trip- last night I ate a lobster-and-foie-gras roll at Au Pied de Cochon (it's the new Keens, you feel me?!) (imagine a CT lobster roll with slices of sauteed foie gras (the iPhone keeps trying to replace "gras" with "GRAS"), a balsamic vinegar sauce, and greens) that was the most decadently ridiculous thing that I've ever had. I got sort of sick at the end, but that feeling is reassuring when you are having a really nice dinner. Also, the prices are unbelievably reasonable. I am going back again tomorrow.

St00n

Post by:Stone

Hussein

In category:Drunk

Hussein.

Hussein Hussein. Hussein.

Hussein. Ne? See huns!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stone.

Post by:Stone

E P I C

In category:Drunk

EPIC

EPIC

EPIC

E-FONZARELLI

?

A B 3333 portent!

St00n

Post by:Stone

Founders

In category:Drunk

A beer recommendation: I've had five or six beers from a Michigan brewery called Founders, and they've all been awesome. If you see one of their beers somewhere, pick it up - I haven't been this hyped up about a brewery since I found Victory, or maybe even Anchor.

Stone

Post by:Stone

Anyone Who Scores Higher Than Me Is A Cheater

In category:Drunk

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/26/business/media/26adco.html?8hpib

"In response to the complaints, the president of Anheuser-Busch, August A. Busch IV, pledged the company would reassess its approach to Super Bowl advertising, which the critics charged was intended to pander to the prime beer drinkers, men from 21 to 25."

Man, men, 21 to 25 - that means that I only have, at most, 23 months left of prime drinking time before I become second rate.  I have work to do.

Things are good here.  Work is dragging a bit, but I'm in a good area of Philadelphia, I like where I live, very happy.

Stone

Post by:Stone

snow and a mustang part dux

In category:Drunk

well officer feris just rang the telly here at the devlin household, i explained that " no sir that dent in the front has been their for a while and i was just coming up parish farm and spunn out, i wanst drunk at allll no ocifer...." :) well ill be calling branford auto center in the AM and getting sombody to get my car out that ditch. anyways goodnight i make it though yet anouther evening alive lets alll be thank ful, except the one person i now whishses i was dead.....gpoodnight

Post by:Caniprokis
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