Ahh yes, Halloween.

When I was a child in the 80's, news reports circled annually, warning parents to inspect all the candy their children would bring home that year.

Razor blades in Snickers bars!

Smarties made of cocaine!

The warnings followed a formula about other dangers throughout the year.

Don't get change from pay phones – people are putting AIDS needles in there!

Think twice before you signal someone with their headlights off at night – it might be a gang initiation and you'll be killed!

As a kid, I didn't give a shit about any of those things. I gave zero thought to the idea that one of my neighbors might put a razor blade in my fun size candy bite. If I had done so, I'd have realized those warnings were absolute bullshit within moments.

Young me probably wouldn't have had the vocabulary but he would have meant to ask, "How is it possible that a discontiguous group of people acrosss the United States (or other environs) have all simultaneously decided to harm and/or poison children?"

I'd like to think that, had I asked anything like that question, my parents would have displayed some critical thinking skills when formulating their response.

Nobody was putting shit in the candy. Or the pay phones. Unspecified gangs weren't making new members drive at night to find unsuspecting, helpful chumps to ambush.

More recently, there's been a lot of annual stories about the "parking lot" scheme – all across the country, groups of sex traffickers are distracting/marking women in parking lots. Ostensibly, this is to abduct them and force them into prostitution.

But here's good news: Just like the nonsense from my childhood, it's not really a thing!

Did some kid find a razor blade in their candy at one point? Did someone randomly get pricked by a syringe trying to retrieve change from a payphone once? Was there an incident of people being robbed after alerting another driver about a lack of headlights? Has a woman been abducted by sex traffickers after being identified in a grocery store parking lot?

Undoubtedly. But any such instances are isolated. Common sense tells you this. There's no concerted effort behind any of these things. You don't need to expend any extra brain power being alert for them.

Enter Rainbow Fentanyl

First, let's acknowledge that the U.S. has a problem with prescription drug abuse. It's no laughing matter that lots of people are stuck and suffering, and our stupid government is unhelpful at best.

Second, let's acknowledge that the overwhelming majority of police departments in this country are filled with, at the minimum, lying assholes.

Now, naturally, those self-serving shitbags are going to take that isolated incident of a rainbow fentanyl bust and turn it into a whole thing. In this case, it's the tried-and-true Halloween candy scare. Keep in mind: When I say "isolated incident," it's probably a number greater than one. But, no matter what that number is, let's apply some of that reasonable thought young me would have displayed.

How is it possible that a discontiguous group of people acrosss the United States (or other environs) have all simultaneously decided to harm and/or poison children?

And, since this is an expensive and addictive substance, let's apply a little more scrutiny to it.

Why would anyone go to the trouble of passing these drugs to kids for free on Halloween?

Because it isn't possible. Nobody would go to such trouble. The very premise doesn't stand up to the slightest inquiry.

So, this Halloween – like every single Halloween before it – let your kids enjoy the night!

I'm pretty sure my only problem with weed nowadays is determining which I find more disturbing:

• That someone would find it amusing/pertinent/whatever to name a variant of marijuana, "Hawaiian Skunk."
• That someone would want to purchase and smoke something called, "Hawaiian Skunk."

Anyway, I watched the movie Shrink and there was a kind called, "Christmas in Vietnam." If I were a pot smoker, I would have some serious brand loyalty going on there.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am who am. My imminent carnival of chaos, whoreley thoughts and insane ideas shall be unwound.

That's a strange definition of medical benefits. How many drugs actually cure anything? AIDS drugs have medical benefits, right?

Marijuana is not harmless - I disagree with you there. There are a lot of people who are psychologically addicted to it, and who use it to help them avoid problems they might otherwise tackle if they didn't have a drug as a crutch. Caffeine is certainly less harmless than Marijuana, even if caffeine is physically addictive in a way that marijuana isn't. Caffeine doesn't cause severe trauma to you when you try to quit, either. Maybe a headache or something. I could quit caffeine any time I want. I don't because I like it, but I could quit it if I could. Not saying that I'm going to.

Ron Paul is a racist nutjob. You could vote for Bob Barr, he's a libertarian.

St00n

"Marijuana may not be physically addictive, but it's psychologically addictive - and more people are psychologically addicted to it than are willing to admit that to themselves".

There, that wasn't hard. Basically, all Mike did was say that in an insulting, long-winded way. Not everyone who smokes weed is psychologically addicted to it. Some weed smokers recognize that they are psychologically addicted to it. There are legitimate medical benefits to smoking weed, but, of course, that a significant portion of California medical marijuana users aren't smoking solely for those medical benefits.

Mike, do you still with Ron Paul was running?

Stone

LOL. You guys have some sandy vaginas.

You have a sense of superiority over marijuana users because you are a douche bag.

This part is true.

Because all of the kids in high school who were having more fun than us used marijuana and you have never grown past that and been able to say "whatever makes them happy."

This part is not.

I'm sure if you asked most Marijuana smokers why they want weed legalized they would say "So I can smoke it and not get arrested", or at least that would be the reasonable base line "Well, DUH!" reason that's so fucking obvious it doesn't even need mentioning.

You bitches have to remember where I live. It's like a way of life in the LBC. I'm gonna copy and paste from FB here: You guys (my friends) bring up valid points because, if you use, you're responsible about it. I probably should have mentioned that what sparked my vitriol in this was, while viewing the mentioned video about medical marijuana this one guy said, "Yeah, and like, I totally need it for like, this leg," and he points to his knee, "This knee and stuff. I messed it up skiing and it relieves the pain. And then it helps with like this shoulder that's always like, flaring up."

If I could meet that guy, I would love to just say, "Dude, seriously. Stop fucking lying. Come on. I don't believe you, nobody believes you, even you don't believe yourself. So just tell the damned truth." Don't even tell me you believe that shit.

If the governments of the world didn't criminalize such a harmless plant, people wouldn't have to die for it or lie for it or anything else.

Also, Devlin, I never said THC was addictive. I just intimated that it fills some sort of void. The best word I can use to describe that is addicted. Therefore:

As for it's mentally addictive properties... anything can be mentally addictive.

Is correct. Perhaps, though, my use of the word is not.

Normally we take your bullshit comments with a grain of salt and say "That's just Mike being Mike.", but I think you stepped over a line here and owe some people an apology.

I don't owe anyone an apology. You guys know better than to think I was aiming that at you. No lines were stepped over.

Meh... Don't you hate it when you're making a valid argument, with some decent points, and someone comes in with a similar argument and makes you look like an asshole. I agree with Mikey on several points here. I have long maintained that the war on drugs (primarily Marijuana) should be ended sheerly for economic purposes. We would save hundreds of millions on law enforcement and incarcerating minor drug offenders. Tax-wise it would be an economic boon. Marijuana costs nearly nothing to grow, it can be grown practically anywhere, and people are already used to paying inflated prices for it because they have to get there weed through illegitimate channels. If legalized you would see legitimate horticulturists growing premium brands for large prices and even more taxes. It could be properly liscensed and regulated, and generate even more tax revenue. That is where Mike and I see eye to eye.

Now, to paraphrase a line from Mike's post: "YOU are a liar (YOU meaning Mike)" Just fess up to it. You don't have a sense of superiority over marijuana users because an article in the NY Times online told you you were right. You have a sense of superiority over marijuana users because you are a douche bag. Because all of the kids in high school who were having more fun than us used marijuana and you have never grown past that and been able to say "whatever makes them happy." It's ok to have these feelings, most of us are douche bags who were dumped on in high school too... that's why we are friends. Just fess up to it.

I'm sure if you asked most Marijuana smokers why they want weed legalized they would say "So I can smoke it and not get arrested", or at least that would be the reasonable base line "Well, DUH!" reason that's so fucking obvious it doesn't even need mentioning. Aside from seeing your stray NORML weirdo on a random primetime news magazine, don't believe I've ever encountered anyone who's said something to the effect of "Weed has, like, 102 uses!" or "If weed were legal it would end our dependency on foreign oil". It's like you're working with some bigoted idea of what a pothead is and you think everyone who smokes weed is that.

Now as for your thoughts (or lack thereof) on the addictiveness of pot. Now most conventional medical wisdom points to the fact that marijuana is not PHYSICALLY addictive. As for it's mentally addictive properties... anything can be mentally addictive. I masturbate... CONSTANTLY. Does that mean I'm physically addicted to yanking my pud? NO... but it would be hard for me to stop. Now we have many friends who smoke weed. Many for years... but look at Spo. After his split with Holly he used smoke... a lot... for months. But eventually he just stopped. Same for me. There were a few months back in college where I smoked 3-4 times a week, until it started giving me seizures. Did I have to lock myself in my room while I fought off hallucinations of dead babies crawling on the ceiling? No, I just stopped.

Your comments lack the validity that "Reefer Madness" had in speaking out against pot, and quite frankly, are just insulting to many of our friends. Normally we take your bullshit comments with a grain of salt and say "That's just Mike being Mike.", but I think you stepped over a line here and owe some people an apology.

I just thought i would give everyone who is not on facebook, the opertunity to ridicule and murder mike about this absolute bullshit post he put up on his page, as you will see, its typical mike fucking bullshit outlandish no basis remarks on something he knows little to nothing about. please feel free to rip him a new giant gaping asshole.......I could probably make a pretty big list of people I know who use marijuana. All of you know that I think the War on Drugs is stupid and that I support legalizing marijuana. And you all know that I have never even once tried it (or any other drugs, except alcohol, for that matter).

Most of you should also know by now that I consider myself smarter than people who use marijuana. I haven't been able to put my finger on why I feel this way, so I've pretty much been walking around for years of my life with this feeling of superiority that I couldn't justify... but you know me and my big mouth, I will still proclaim it regardless of my ability to qualify it. In recent years I've been getting closer to an answer, though, and a video I was watching today on the NYTimes site about California's medical marijuana situation helped me pinpoint it (I think).

Every single one of you (you, meaning the folks who use marijuana) are liars.

Oh, how ripe! The person who used to be nicknamed, "Mike the Liar," pronouncing this! The pot turns to the kettle, though, and says: I have changed; learned from what I did when I was younger, and decided that I don't want to be that way. Aside from the bullshit with Elaine (because that was between us), I would challenge anyone to call me out on something. In fact, I would say I've gotten extremely good at being straightforward and even at identifying when I'm trying to delude myself. I am an open book nowadays.

Therefore, and because of that, I think I am qualified to call out marijuana users on their deceit.

Here's the deal: again, I am for the legalization of marijuana. Why? Let me explain the reasons that I'm not basing this support upon, the lies of the pot crowd. I don't care about how many uses hemp has. I don't care about the calming effect it has. I don't care about how tobacco and alcohol are worse, yet legal. I don't care about any of the other reasons and I especially don't care about it not being addictive*. If marijuana is legal and sanctioned, the government can collect taxes on it just like tobacco. Legal limits of use can be set, like alcohol, and tests can be done to determine that. The problem with marijuana users is that I get that bullshit about the uses of hemp and so forth. And, having been a very bad liar, I can spot your disbelief of those justifications. Just tell the world the truth about why you want it legal, potheads!

And now we come to the star I put in that last paragraph, the biggest lie of them all: marijuana is not addictive. Fuck yourself. Marijuana HAS to be addictive. I'm not a doctor, so I cannot determine the way in which marijuana is addictive but let me explain why it has to be. First of all, if it's not addictive, why continue to use it on a regular basis? I have not heard an answer to this question that wasn't a lie. ("I don't have to use it all of the time, but it makes me calm.") Second: the amount of rationalization circling the justification of marijuana use is on par with any other drug addict, along with the extended explanations of the usage (which indicate a lie). Getting a prescription for weed is the same as the President saying, "We're starting to see the effects of the stimulus:" come on. Nobody fucking believes that. Everybody knows that pretty much everyone used the stimulus to pay bills and everyone knows what I will now say:

So I say again, just tell the truth! You want marijuana legal so that you can buy it, smoke it, eat it, whatever you do with it... and not get arrested. How on earth is that such a bad explanation? Why would you want to avoid that reason? It is a perfectly good reason and yet I've never heard it out of the mouth of any user ever in the history of me knowing people who use! Addiction. Crack addicts make up elaborate excuses instead of just being honest with themselves and other people. Alcoholics lie about how much they've had to drink and avoid facing the problem. There has to be a dependency there that marijuana fills in peoples' lives, and that dependency is something they either don't want to admit or face about themselves and so they say some bullshit like, "It helps relieve the pain from that leg I messed up when I was skiing." Yeah, okay.

Cigarette smokers, on the other hand, are interesting because they know the health risks and everything else associated with it but when pressed for why they continue to smoke or bothered about it or confronted with yet another law restricting where they can smoke, it's always the same response: "I'm addicted. Fuck you."

I would love to hear that from a marijuana user. And a certain coworker's take on this, because he is the exception to all of the above.

After work today, I went to this sushi restaurant, called "Sushi Roku", with about 11 other co-workers. 9 of the 11 are visiting our branch of the company I work at - they work at other branches.

$1150 food/drinks tab, which is a new record for me, although it doesn't meet our per/person Keens' record.

Sometimes when I'm unhappy, I feel like running headfirst into a wall to punish myself for being ungrateful for all the good things that are available to me.

Stun

"Of all of our group of friends, I think he would be the one least likely to ever be the target of anyone's wrath or ire (unless he's next to Caniprokis and Caniprokis is high)."

Ha ha i was laughing my balls off for like 5 minutes after i read that, good job Calliander, but just to clear it up, i really only beat up Wilson when i was trippin, im too lazy to beat up anyone when im high.

At our respective ages i think alot of us would like to think we are all grown up already, perhaps better than some of our other friends, well all im going to say is that im FAR from grown up (I am Better than most of you though snicker snicker) i think there are stages of growing up and we just passed into another stage, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our mid twenties i hope you all enjoy them and i hope non of us kill each other.

now to fill some quotas, shit piss fuck cunt cocksucker motherfucker tits fart turd and twat ok thats should cover "swears" as far as "sexual talk"........... i got nothin

948

I ran across this article the other day.. I didn't write it, I just agree with it, and since there's no other chance anyone else here will wind up reading it,I felt like posting it (hey, at least there's a chance now)..
See it formatted nicely: Here

--begin

As a leftist, I'm getting just a bit weary of hearing how much I "hate America." Ever since the big you-know what in late 2001, that little zinger has been the comeback of choice for any objections to US foreign policy. Don't like our new wars? Gee, you must really hate this country.

Friends on the right, you wound us. If we didn't love America, why would we spend so much time and energy on bake sales and discussion groups and lecture series and petition drives and demonstrations to make it a better place? I mean, there may be some parts of Dallas we're not too keen on, and personally, you couldn't pay me enough to live in Phoenix, but on the whole, sure, love that America. Friendly people, nice beaches, great forests, er, what's left of them.

Of course, the relationship is just a bit more complicated than that. We love America kind of like we might love a dear friend or relative who's drinking too much and putting his health in danger, or messing up his home life. We're kind of embarrassed and more than a little bit worried for good old America. But that doesn't mean we don't love her. Hey, we're family!

You know, it occurs to me that when rightwingers can't come up with a better argument than "you hate America," they might actually be projecting. After all, who was it that said that the 9/11 attacks allowed, quote, "the enemies of America to give us probably what we deserve"? It wasn't any leftist, that's for sure. It was that jolly old moral majoritarian, the Rev. Jerry Falwell.

The more you think about it, the more it makes sense. The right can't stand American culture. Rock & roll swept the planet, helped bring down the Berlin wall, inspired everyone with its free-spirited, rebellious American energy. Who fought it every step of the way? The right, that's who. Same goes for hip-hop, another great American export, subject of Congressional inquisitions. And don't even get me started on Hollywood. Billions of people love our movies, but the right acts like the whole movie industry is the last refuge of Stalinism.

The right hates our heroes, too. They had to be dragged kicking and screaming into making a holiday to honor the Rev. Martin Luther King, who helped us try to fulfill the promises of Reconstruction. And some of them still grumble, as Ronald Reagan did, that he was some kind of "communist." Still others, like John Ashcroft, express nostalgia for the Confederacy's fight to maintain slavery as a noble cause.

Come to think of it, the right hates our constitution, too, except for the Second Amendment, and maybe the Eleventh, now that the Rehnquist Court has rewritten it to mean "Congress shall pass no law that we don't like." But the First, the Fourth, the Fifth, and um, the Sixth, and the Eighth, and pretty much the Fourteenth and Fifteenth Amendments are right out the window these days. Damn shame, too, if you ask me. Plus the right is still itching to overturn old decisions like Miranda and Bakke and Roe, if not Griswald. Some of them aren't too crazy about Brown v. Board, either, if you know what I mean.

And it's obvious by now that the right wing really, really hates democracy. If you even bring up the word, they go on about how the Founding Fathers made a republic, not a democracy. Well, sure, but they also wrote in the parts about blacks being three-fifths of a person, and only land-owning males being able to vote. Some of those cool old amendments moved us closer to actual democracy, at least for a while there. Now the rightwingers on the Supreme Court have made it clear that we have no actual right to vote, let alone have the votes counted if it's inconvenient for their candidate.

And the election of 2000 isn't the only one stolen by the right. In 1968, and again in 1980, the right-wing candidates, as private citizens, interfered with foreign-policy negotiations of the US government in order to (successfully) gain electoral advantage. Come to think of it, they did that again in 2000, advising the Israelis to drag their feet in the Camp David talks. But I guess they can get away with that, since they love America more than us pesky leftists.

But if the right loves America so much, why do they keep subsidizing the corporations that foul our air, despoil our coasts, and clear-cut our forests? Just how patriotic is the Bush administration's new rule that allows mining companies to shear off the tops of our purple-mountain'd majesty and dump them into our streams? Don't you think we could express our love of country a little better by tightening up those fuel economy standards, instead of squeezing the Middle East for more fuel for our Hummers?

Now that reminds me. Why does the right keep making so many enemies for our country? You know, like overthrowing elected governments in Iran and Chile and so on, or backing torture-happy juntas in Turkey and Pakistan, or paying for proxy terrorists in Nicaragua and Angola, or subsidizing the occupation of East Timor and the West Bank. Didn't the left keep saying, "Um, excuse us, if we keep supporting violence and terrorism abroad, it might come back to haunt us"? And we're the unpatriotic ones?

Oh, but that's where we got started here. Any time we criticize US foreign policy, we're making excuses for the terrorists. I guess it's inconceivable that the left could love America enough to want us to stop making new enemies. Well, okay, America. If invading Iraq doesn't work out as nicely as planned, you might give us a call. We still have a few ideas, and, gosh, we just love ya to pieces. Write sometime! After all, who gave you votes for women and blacks, and the weekend, and overtime, and retirement pay, and family leave? Your old pals on the left. God love ya.

--end

Umm.. All I really have to add is Legalize Fuckin' weed already, man.. this is fucking insane already. If you haven't been keeping up on Operation Pipe Dreams and other DEA scams, you're realling missing out on some of the finest propaganda work our government has come up with in decades.

Post later.. maybe :P

This post was brought to you by Anchor Steam Ale.

Well, I want to post something, not leave the front page of Insult dormant, but the usual oh-bah-it's-exams whining doesn't seem like it'll do.

I've been thinking about my own death more lately. Why, I don't really know. I think it may have something to dowith a feeling of personal growth, with my having begun to encounter things that I've been putting off for a long time, read: driver's licence and college graduation. Moving along some path, I'll guess, makes me feel as if I'm moving closer to death. I wouldn't say that I really worry about it, just that I think about it. At times I do feel as if I have a bomb in my chest. I'm healthier than I think I might have ever been, so this sort of stuff makes even less sense than it might usually. It's really about the stupidest thing I can think of to worry about.

Ah well. Things are generally fine.

Have you seen those Apple commercials, the ones that have average-joe type people talking about how they've switched over from their old PCs to new Macintoshes, and about how happy they are over the change? They're all 'real' about it too, we relate to them and their daily concerns, so on.

Yet, I dunno, I don't relate to these people, they all seem like jackasses. I dislike them, more than anything else. Normally, I don't have this sort of reaction to these anti-commercial commercials, I like the genre well enough, but it seems like with this ad campaign Apple really went out of their way to get ugly, annoying spokeswomen.

Hemming, hawing, talking about their jobs as Internet Media Producers and things like that, blaming their husbands for wanting to keep PCs, utterly, deeply unlikable. The people just don't look like ones I'd like to be identified with, either, look at the woman at the top of this post.

Now, Steve from the Dell commercials, he's a role model. I'm getting a Dell!

This doesn't really merit a full post. I don't even expect that anyone will read it, since the post is a few days old. Anyways, on AT&T Digital Cable, there's this menu that you move through in order to select the channel that you want to watch. "Dude, Where's My Car?" was just one of the movies that was on TV, but, its name was too long for the entry space on the Digital Cable menu - it'd been shortened to "Dude, My Car?". And, really, getting rid of the "Where's" turns it from a silly title into something art-house-like: "Dude, My Car?" Very translated-French.

Stone

Alright, its late and im bored so im going to recount a story for you all that has become legend in our little group, those of you who were there please feel free to add any of the fun little tidbits of this i may miss, i was the one after all that was least sober.

let me set the scean for you all here. its 1998, spring semester, im still in high school, but FlyingTim, Pappy and Wilson all went to UMASS. So friday comes and ive planed to go up and visit my friends in college, stay at the dorm meet some new people and have a good time. little did i know that i would spend most of the weekend in FlyingTims room playing Tribes and drinking beer out of a way to big cup half filled with coolade lemonade. so i get up on that friday night, meet "The Fonz" FlyingTims roomate who leaves as soon as i get there comes back later that night and really nothing happens i spend a night on a dirty floor wishing i waited till saterday to come up. Saterday, we wake up at about or 1pm and go eat breakfast, now i would have liked to eat at any of the wonderful DC's there at UMASS but no we drive into fucking Hadly and go to dunkin donuts, anyways the day is pretty uneventfull untill about 3pm. at this time Logan is on his way Logan being at the time my best friend so im all set hes coming were all going to party together itll be great so knowing this i go into my wallet and pull out what i came up to do that weekend, a nice and big Purple Geltab of yummy LSD.

Now this is only the second time i had ever used Acid so after about an hour and not feeling any change i start to think that i got burned and start to get pissed, Flyingtim tells me to chill out, so i decide to give it a little more time, after this point things start to take a turn....

Tim puts on Darkside of the Moon figureing it would be the most logical thing to listen to and he puts it on his computer with a program that follows the music with some kind of colors and movement sceam it was new at the time and some what intreaging. the next thing i know the cd is over and tim is just standing there looking at me...its working

about 45 minutes later Logan calls hes lost at some biker bar trying to find the campus he eventually gets here and call from the street. we have to go down and meet him to bring him up. fine i say ill stay here where its safe....no no says tim you have to come with me to get him. ok ill go we go downstairs and tim remebers that i cant leave because i have to get checked in and out so he tells me to wait here and he will be back.....wait here and ill be back.....wait here and ill be back...thats really all i could understand at the time so i did, i waited did not move, people came and i freaked out but did not move, it was a rainy night and i was standing in the doorway getting wet, there was a street light at the top of the hill of the dorm i was looking at, and looking at and looking at. the light just kept getting bigger and bigger and turning all kinds of different beautiful shades of blue, the light started to dance with the rain, back and forth it danced the ripples on the ground even got involved, it was quite a show....but then suddenly it stoped. i realized i was alone except for the RA standing next to me. dont ask me what happened next because i dont know, the next flash of memery i have im standing in front of a badly out of tune piano playing some kind of melodic funk rif.......wanna know a secrete....wispers-i dont know how to play piano-.....and tim taps me on the sholder and i turn around to Logan and tim just laughing at me.....very funny guys you left me for so long tim-dude weve only been gone for 5 minutes. oh boy...........

Logan, he was suppose to be my safty, he was suppose to keep me ocupied with cool things and keep me in a good mood, instead he shows up and starts pounding beers and gets way to drunk to even think never mind play with a trippin kid. so were in Tims room waiting for Wilson and Pappy to come so we can go to friendlys to get some food and i find a bottle of Jack Danials in the fridge. haha i think its mine noone knows i have it but i better finish it before anyone sees, i promtly start to chug the entire bottle, about 3 or five seconds later Loagn performs one of his only good deeds of the weekend and rips it out of my hands and tells me im not allowed to touch it again, i listen and start to feel a little sick, but i get over it and end up just really Drunk and Trippin.

we dicide that my car will be the best to take, mainly because i dont know any better at this point, first i decide tat Pappy should drive i dont really know why but he seemed to represent some kind of responsibilty to me at the time, he cant even get it out of first gear and i start yelling at him to get the fuck out of my car ill fucking drive. god deed alert #2 logan says why dont you let tim drive...sounds good to me..tim you drive ok were off to food.

trees are funny things then your moving in fact moving is a funny thing when your trippin, being in the car felt like i was flying, i opened my sunroof even though it was raining it all looked so pretty the rain felt like thousands of tiny cool pelets hitting my face, it was soothing and calming, i enjoyed my ride it was fun the headlights started to dance with the rain and the road colors shot out of no where streaks flew through the sky every car that went by was twice as big as i remeber cars being, people on the street were moving very very slow and yet very very fast, some dident move they just stood and looked as if i was a caged animal on display...look look that kid is trippin.....no no no, they dont know your trippin relax.

FRIENDLYS AND THE CLOCK: so we get seated and im looking at a menu, or so im told, Logan starts to yell at me in german, Wilson tells me to order fries, the man comes, he looks at me, i look at him, he asks me what i want, i think, i want fries, just tell the man you want fries and a coke....i hide behind my menu, i literly take the menu and put it over my face. Logan orders fries and a coke for me, good deed #3, so the man leaves and i put down my menu, Wilson looks at me, dude look at that big blue clock over there. now there really is a giant free standing blue clock in the friendlys i later learn but i look and wow that is a really big clock and what a funny color....about five minutes later dude look at the huge clock over there...oh man is it getting bigger??? i think you know where this is going, by the time we leave that clock is bigger than me and i run out of the place.......the car ahhh safty.

the rest of the night is pretty much just me trippin sack in tims room but there is one more importnant detail i must inform you of, this is where all of Logans good deed points get thrown out the window...literally.

were in my car and i put on my new korn tape that i bought that day, i like it and its good but Logan decides that it corporate rock and it sucks and he starts geting me going and im like yeah man fucking industry fucks fucking everyone trying to make it on the local scean and i rip the tape out of my car and throw it out the window. 1...2...3. . .NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! MY NEW TAPE!!!!!!! and we never found it tim kept driving and i forgot about it ten minutes later.

The End

I love codine so much, I really do. I've been sick as a fucking dog the last few days (I started feeling kinda bad late wed night at the party) and fri I went to the doctor about it, he gave me some cough syrup with codine in it. Now I've previously experienced the joys of codine and know how strong it is, so I went easy and just took a little bit of it fri night when I couldn't sleep. Next thing I know it's Sat night! It was some crazy shit. I'm feeling a little whacked out now but hey I don't feel sick anymore so it's all good. My curiousity is piqued as well, I'm trying to imagine what Levres pictured me (and Calliander by default) looking like. Usually people that talk to me without meeting me yet picture me looking like Adam Duritz and then when they meet me they go "Wow you do look like Adam Duritz". If I could sing at all I'd start a Counting Crows cover band. Anyway, wed night was very cool, cool and interesting. Firstly I got some funny news from Lio, as it turns out that an ex of mine that really hurt me years ago just got the screws herself from my rich ugly successor. That gave me a good chuckle. I had a lot of fun hanging out with everyone that night it was real cool. I still don't understand everyone's refusal to ever perform analingus on a woman. If the girl's clean and all that why not, especially if you're in the area anyway. It's all a mood thing, like, it's not something you think about and go "That's hot", you have to be in the middle of things, it's heating up, and you just decide to do it. And girls love it, so if you want to reach the apex of your coital skilz you can't playa hate the analingus. Anyway, when I got up the next morning my Mom was like "While you were out last night you got a call from some trashy sounding girl, she wanted to go to the movies" and I was like "Uh, huh? Who was it, is the message still there?" and it wasn't. So now I'm trying to figure out who it was, if it was someone I know she would have recognized the voice so it must not be a friend. This is driving me insane, my Mom thinks every girl is trashy so that means nothing. Grrrrrr.......... My best guess is that it was Suzanne Mead because I talked to her last weekend and she told me to give her a call last week, but I was drunk and forgot to ask for her number. I have no clue though. Oh yeah and someone I thought hated me told me they're in love with me, which totally shocked me, and I got a couple callbacks friday about jobs so I've had a lot of stuff to think about while being wacked out on cough syrup. SteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevePerry!

It's sooo sad for such a young person to be involved with the crack... sad, sad, sad. This is something we have to talk about man. I mean, You know we're all here for you if you need help. PUT DOWN THE GLASS DICK!

First: These bean-isms were okay at first, but now they're just sucky and stupid.

Second.. wanna learn more about marrying your cousin? Check out this site. God knows why you want to marry your cousin, but whatever.

I'm up too late. I hope I get a couple of hours sleep. School work sucks.

Gay men are pros at keeping their bowels clean. I mean.. aren't they? They eat salad to keep things clear and such right? Is it only salads?

Girls who sit alone on the weekend have no right to bitch come Monday about being alone. Fucking.. do something about it. If you don't have a boyfriend and never go out, its your fault (unless everyone hates you.. which is probably your fault too). You need to give your number out or talk to people or do anything.

A totally unrelated subject: Next year I am moving off campus.. but now I don't know where I'll be living or who with. Levres and Wilson have been acting a little odd in the past two weeks, and all I know is that I don't want to live with the two of them when they are acting like they have been. Shrug.

I need new shoes.

NEed. more. time.

Oh.. and fucking.. SPELL IT WITH ME:

M-A-C-G-Y-V-E-R..

It is not Macguyver or Mcgyver or Mcguyver. It is Macgyver. Everyone at the Phoenix Foundation knew it, as did Jack Dalton and Penny. Even Murdock could get it right. YOU CAN TOO, ASSFACE.

Alas, Mcgyver. I never knew him, however, I had heard the endless stories of countless hours spent by Pappy, Wilson, and Caniprokis spent in an orgy of pleasure with Mcgyver. I have heard the tales of how they would take turns pressing their lips to Mcgyver, sucking forth the bounty from his oraphace. Why there was hardly a time when the three of them were together that they would not make mention of the spastic breathing that marked the pleasures and euphoria of putting their mouths to Mcgyver. I'm sorry to hear that he has gone, since I know how much fun my friends had sucking at his shaft, while lighting his other end on fire.

Mcgyver will be missed. I hope you can find some confort in these words, my friends.

I don't know about you, but over the last couple of hours, I've been searching for a place to anchor my hope. When times like this come, and they come for all of us, we look to a place to anchor for stability. We want to celebrate, remember and think, and think about the man that we love.

I want to encourage you to do three things in the coming days. To tell those stories, and everybody's got a Macgyver story sitting in here, and to laugh, and to remember the emotion that goes with those stories. To listen to each other as you tell those stories and to pray. And to pray. Pray alone and with each other. I think Macgyver would be happy that we would be laughing and telling stories with each other.

Where do we go from here? I mean each of us, we don't like thinking about this but what do we do with those who are here today? How do we anchor to something?

I would like to take this time to talk with you all about Macgyver's life.

Macgyver came into my life the same day he came into Pappy's life. Down in Connecticut, in a small town named Guilford. From that day on, none of the lives touched by Macgyver would ever be the same. Ever since the first time we all hung out with Macgyver, we worried that some day he would be gone, and although we all thought he would be with us longer than he was, we relished every single moment that we got to spend with him.

You know.. you never ever see it coming. It was just two short days ago that I was dutifully filling Macgyver with little chunks of broken ice. Never did I think that would be the last time that I would see him. Macgyver was always so good to us, whether it was the kindest of the kind, or the most insane-o gas station weed from Caniprokis. He was more than just some tool, he was a friend, a member of our closest circle of friends.

I think all of us who knew, and undoubtedly loved our dear friend Macgyver, feel like we've been widowed. Surely, some day, we must learn to love another, but it feels dirty to even think of consuming the smoke which Macgyver had so dutifully supplied to our lungs out of any other piece of equipment. Any other piece of equipment, would be nothing more than just that -- equipment. Macgyver was our friend. He will be missed.

I, For one, will be observing a day of posting silence on 4/20/2001 in rememberance of our dear departed friend.

Rest in peace, little buddy.

If you knew him, you loved him. If you didn't know him, you wished you knew him.

This may come as a shock to those who knew him as it was such a sudden death. I will spare you of the gory details of the death itself. Those of us who were there (Preacherman and my RA) were equally sad.

May we all move on from this, and while we can never replace Macgyver, we can honour him by picking the best of the best to go in his place.